I am using the term youngsters to mean teens and adolescents. Normally the term simply mean young person. I wrote this article as a teen myself, that was in 2012. Noted it down in my notebook and have chosen to put it on this blog. I dedicate it to all teens, adolescents and their beloved parents. I hope you enjoy it.
The Endless Love between Parents and Children: A Beautiful Bond
There’s no denying that one of the most profound forms of love is the bond shared between children and their parents. It’s often referred to as “Parental love.” While we all understand that love is a two-way street, the focus has mostly been on the love parents have for their children, leaving little discussion about how children can express their love for their parents.
When people attend family gatherings, marriage conventions, or couples retreats, the emphasis is usually on how spouses can love each other and how they can love their children. But what about practical suggestions on how children can express their love towards their parents? The answer to this question is what this article is intended for. Let me first share with you my story.
My high school story
During my high school days, there were moments when I stayed at school during holidays while my classmates went home for the school vacation. The first day of returning to school was always filled with joy, excitement, and an incredible sense of happiness.
You reunite with friends whom you haven’t seen in weeks, missed them truly, after all they are true friend, the kind of friends you’ve shared the ups and downs of school life together, confiding secrets and experiencing everything that high schoolers do. What made the return to school truly special was the opportunity to share stories about what happened during the holidays: the concerts attended, sibling fights, football matches & movies watched, and so much more.
One night, as my friends returned, I went to pick them up where the school buses were parked. I helped them carry their bags, and we walked together towards our dorms. We asked each other how we had been doing. I didn’t have much to say since I had been at school all along, with only a few other friends who also stayed behind during the holidays. However, I eagerly listened to their stories of what took place during the break. They told me about their love crushes & girl friends, The Ben’s, Meddy’s, Christ Brown’s and others artists’ new songs that were released, church events they attended, and the exciting football matches & movies they watched.
But what I loved most were the stories about their family life—their parents’ humorous jokes, the gifts they received, and how they were pampered during the holidays. The stories about their siblings, the fights, the laughter, and all those precious moments.
As my two friends continued sharing one holiday story after another about their family life, a wave of emotions washed over me. In their words, I witnessed the profound depths of parental love, an unwavering devotion that knows no bounds. The love our parents give us is incredibly selfless and sacrificial. The words we often we use as teens when we are deep in love, things like “I could take a bullet for you”, “I love you more than you can ever imagine” These sentiments perfectly capture the magnitude of the love our parents have for us.
Even when parents punish us, they feel pain too. They know that it’s not easy for us to be disciplined, but they also know that it’s necessary for us to grow. They call it discipline, and we perceive and call it punishment.
Funny enough, we grow older and become parents ourselves, we call it disciplining our children too. I guess we come to understand that love has to be tough sometimes. Tough love is necessary for us to become the best version of ourselves. Love must be firm and resilient to make us become responsible adults.
Am no longer a teen, but when I look back at those years……I can only say parents are the most patient people. They dedicate their lives to us without hesitation. We are their motivation, the reason they work hard and never give up. They endure the challenges of their jobs, even difficult bosses, because of us. Their sacrifices for us are immeasurable. Their boundless love and selflessness remind us that they are always there for us, no matter what.
This realization triggered a question in my mind: Do parents also yearn for love from us? Naturally, everyone wants to be loved, but do parents desire that love? This question inspired me to write this article.
Unmasking the Hidden Hunger: Parents’ Secret Craving for Their Youngster’s Love.
After this question had just popped up in my head, I explored my thoughts, searching through memories to see if there are any signs that parents crave love from their children. At first, a resounding voice in my head insisted, “No, they don’t need love; they simply require obedience.” I recalled the countless reminders from parents, neighbors, teachers, and even Sunday school instructors, stressing the importance of obedience. “Perhaps it’s our own stubbornness and rebelliousness that prompts them to keep using that word “obedience” until it becomes almost annoying to hear,” I pondered. How I despised being labeled as hard-headed or stubborn simply because I was a teenager. It irritated me to no end.
But then, a different set of memories flooded my mind—the expressions on parents’ faces when they first see their child’s drawing them, often the shapeless pictures of parents holding hands of the kid standing between them. The sheer joy that radiates when a baby smiles at them. The pure delight when a little boy eagerly rushes to greet his father returning from work and the father lifts him with goosebumps. In those moments, it becomes abundantly clear just how deeply parents yearn for love. And I am certain that this longing doesn’t go anywhere just because we have entered our teenage years.
You see, as teenagers, we find ourselves caught in a struggle. Everyone still wants to treat us as children, despite the fact that we are no longer kids. Yet, we haven’t quite reached adulthood either. Perhaps parents should understand this delicate balance, rather than viewing us solely as stubborn or hard-headed.
The truth is, we do love our parents dearly, but sometimes it’s challenging for us to discern how best to demonstrate our affection and support. We are grappling with numerous changes happening in our lives, and as we mature, we start to realize that our parents are not the invincible superheroes we once believed them to be. This doesn’t diminish our love for them, but it does lessen our reliance on them to rescue us from every situation. They make it even harder for us when they think we hate being “good sons & daughters” they want us to be.
As teenagers, what we truly need is respect. We want adults to consider our ideas, listen to us with genuine intent to understand, and provide guidance when necessary, rather than dismissing our thoughts simply because we’re teens. It’s quite amusing how adults sometimes accuse us of not listening when they themselves fail to truly listen to us.
Do they want us to love them or just obey them?
The reality is that parents crave love just as much. In fact, the obedience they desire from us comes from their desire for us to demonstrate that we love them and trust them. When parents ask us to do something, they’re not just giving us orders. They’re actually asking us to show them that we care about them and that we believe they want what’s best for us. And may God forgive them but our parents are so “proud” SOMETIMES. They won’t admit that they need our love and affection. They want us to be vulnerable to them but they won’t be vulnerable to us. And that is okay, may be we will understand when we grow up (I hated that statement too).
It’s easier for the youngsters to show how they crave for love but not easier for parents to do so. But make no mistake, parents need love and affection just as much as we the youngsters do. So go ahead and show them affection.
Because the love of children for their parents is not often discussed, it leaves some teenagers and adolescents, or let’s just call them youngsters, wondering if there is a parallel to the parental love. Perhaps we could even call it “Childrenal” love. Rest assured, it does exist.
THE GREATEST LIE WE TELL OURSELVES
I used to tell myself: “Once I finish school and start working, I’ll build a new home for my parents. I will fill it with beautiful furniture, paint the walls with lovely colors, and dress them in the best clothes I have seen other parents wear. After all they’ve always sacrificed everything for me and my siblings.”
As youngsters, we sometimes believe that parents only require obedience from us when we’re young, and that they’ll need our love when we’re older. But that’s far from the truth. Parents yearn for affection at all stages of our lives, even enjoy being spoiled a little by their children.
You cannot wait to show your parents affection until you start earning, there is no guarantee that this time will come when you or they are still alive. Tomorrow has no guarantee, show them affection now while still can. By they way showing them love today won’t stop you from doing all that you dream to do for them when you get money.
6 WAYS OF SHOWING LOVE/AFFECTION TO YOUR PARENTS
Perhaps I have managed to persuade you to consider showing more affection to your parents, and now you may be wondering how to practically go about it. Allow me to provide you with six suggestions as a starting point, although there are countless ways to show love. These suggestions aim to inspire your creativity and encourage you to explore additional ways of expressing your affection.
Before I share these suggestions, I want to emphasize that love can be communicated through various means, both publicly and privately. In today’s age of social media, we often share our feelings for loved ones in public posts. However, it’s important to note that public displays of affection are often limited to special occasions or significant events like birthdays, graduations, or weddings. If your expressions of love have been confined to such occasions, I urge you to consider going beyond and communicating your love privately as well.
The most cherished memories of affection are often the ones that catch us off guard, the ones that are not expected or shared with the world. These moments of tenderness and connection are deeply personal and meaningful. They create a bond that goes beyond the public eye.
Now let’s consider some suggestions here;
- HEARTFELT LOVE LETTERS
If your parents can read, consider writing them heartfelt letters from time to time, sharing deep personal thoughts that you wouldn’t necessarily share publicly.
Love letters hold a timeless beauty that can’t be replaced by text messages or social media posts. No matter your age, parents will always cherish receiving a love letter. From kindergarteners drawing their innocent expressions of love to grown-ups pouring their hearts onto paper, the act of writing to parents holds immense significance.
Express your gratitude to them in specific detail, sharing what you admire about them. Add a touch of joy by including some humor. Creating cherished memories through love letters shouldn’t be a one-time gesture, but an ongoing practice of affection. AND YOU DON’T NEED TO GROW UP AND HAVE A LOT OF MONEY FOR YOU TO START DOING THIS.
- UNEXPECTED GIFTS
Gifts have a magical way of conveying love, whether they are anticipated or come as a delightful surprise. However, there is a certain enchantment in unexpected gifts, those that fulfill a genuine need at just the right moment.
Gifts can take various forms, tangible or intangible. Remember, the love letters we mentioned earlier are gifts too. Consider giving your writing-loving mom a special pen or notebook, or a stylish cape for your dad if he adores them. Remember, it’s not about the price tag but the sincerity of the gesture.
If they give you money to shop for yourself, spare some little and get them something too. By doing so, you show that you value their thoughtfulness and appreciate all they do for you.
Feel free to seek recommendations from your siblings or friends for gift ideas that would touch your parents’ hearts. You could even ask Dad to give you a hint on what your mum like or vise verse.
- LEARN ONE OF THEIR HOBBIES
Try to discover your parents’ hobbies and engage in their hobbies with them. Whether it’s their religious practices, sports, cars, reading, music, or movies, show genuine interest and participate alongside them.
If your parents find solace in prayer, they will be delighted if you ask to pray with them. If they love cooking, surprise them by showing interest and lending a helping hand in the kitchen from time to time.
If possible, prepare a special breakfast or their favorite meals when they least expect it. The element of surprise adds an extra touch of sweetness to these shared moments.
- BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE. MAKE THEM PROUD.
There is no better way to show your parents you love them than to be the best you can be in whatever you do. Work hard to develop your talents, whatever they may be. Most parents are not impressed by our accomplishments, but by our efforts.
To some parents, giving them a love letter or an unexpected gift will not mean much if you are lazy and not living up to your potential. But if you are working hard and doing your best, they will appreciate it more than anything else.
Ask your parents for support when you need it. It doesn’t always have to be financial. Parents love when their children depend on them for support. It shows that you trust them and that you value their guidance. But be sure to ask for help in areas where you know they are capable of helping you. It can be hurtful to ask for something they wish they could give or do for you, but cannot.
- OFFER TO HELP
One of the best ways to show your parents you love them is to offer to help them. Even if you don’t think you can do much, they will find something you can do to help.
For example, if your dad is working on a project on his computer, you could offer to make him a cup of coffee or help him organize his files. If your mom is busy planning work for tomorrow, you could offer to help her with the laundry or take out the trash.
You don’t always have to ask to help. Sometimes, you can just go ahead and help without being asked. This shows your parents that you are thinking of them and that you care about them.
Offering to help your parents is a simple way to show them how much you love and care about them.
- LISTEN TO THEM, THEN SPEAK.
Have you ever realized that parents often desire our attentive ears more than we crave theirs? How about embracing this opportunity to truly listen to them? It doesn’t require much but holds immeasurable value.
This means really listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. It means paying attention to what they are saying, both verbally and non-verbally. It means asking questions to clarify what they are saying. And it means not interrupting.
When you listen to your parents, you are showing them that you care about what they have to say. You are also showing them that you respect them. And you are building a stronger relationship with them. And indeed, they have a lifetime of experience to share with us.
CONCLUSION
I have a friend who always tells me that “when it comes to love, there is a lot of sowing before reaping” If you continue sowing love into your parents, siblings and humanity at large, you surely will reap huge.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”— Morrie Schwartz
If you would like to follow me on my social media platforms; click here to follow me on twitter, click here to follow me on Instagram , click here to follow e on Facebook
